Week 16: Antagonistic
Weekly Chapters:
I Kings 8 – II Kings 3
Passage of the Week:
I Kings 21:7
Adjective:
1. Acting in opposition
2. Hostile or unfriendly
Thesaurus:
Combative
Hostile
Unfriendly
Father God,
Walk with me today to uncover why my insecurity raises its head and becomes my voice. Help me dig down and find the source. Give Your love and acceptance wings in my life so that I can find the peace You want in my life.
Amen
Authentic vulnerability:
Antagonistic, combative, yes, that’s me. Not afraid of confrontation-Nope, all in. Standing my ground- absolutely. Is this is a bad thing? Aren’t we raising your children to stick up for themselves? Some of us feel like we have been fighting our entire lives, for our rights, for our desires, for anything and everything. But when does the fight for survival or rights go beyond fighting for and turns into fighting against.
As I’ve gotten older, the fighting feels more personal, more ego-driven, rather than survival, more of one-upping someone, more for competitive reasons, more as something to prove. No one tells me I am less than when they disagree with me, yet I take it as a personal attack and immediately fight back. I become combative, antagonistic, and yes, sometimes hostile. My actions are more ego-driven. What within me, someone who thinks their self-worth is strong, is so insecure that I take a challenge as a personal threat?
What is your Authentic Truth?
Study:
Many of the kings of Israel and Judah were combative. Ahab was always in a state of battle, as was his wife, Jezebel. Jezebel took it as her mission to fight the battles of her husband. Jezebel almost Diminished her husband’s power claiming her right to implant her gods of baal. Jezebel was never satisfied. In I Kings 21, we see Ahab trying to bargain with Naboth to take over his vineyard. For some reason, Ahab saw Naboth’s vineyard as prime land for his vegetable garden. Ahab negotiated with Naboth offering him in return better land and payment. Naboth followed God‘s command, which was not to sell the land, Naboth’s inheritance. Ahab went home pouting and feeling that as king, he should be honored. He refused to eat and faced the wall, somewhat like a toddler.
Jezebel noticing his behavior asked what the matter was, and Ahab told her. Jezebel diminished Ahab, mocking him, “are you the King of Israel or not?”. Then, as we as women can do, she gets up and decides if my husband cannot stand up for himself, I guess I will do it.
This act, this ego-driven act of Jezebel does a few things:
1. It debases her husband’s power
2. She oversteps and steps into the king’s shoes
3. She humiliated her husband by diminishing his feelings.
Jezebel’s act is to write letters in Ahab’s name, uses the seal, and hatches a plan to get Naboth killed as a way to take his land and get revenge for his saying no to the king.
I will not say I’ve done anything as rash as Jezebel trying to get another man killed, but they lived in a harsher time where lives lost were more of a norm due to war, famine, and the like.
Today, our war is in words and actions and one-upping someone. Our desire to “get back” at others is sometimes just as devastating. We go to war on social media; we gossip, say ugly things, plot, and scheme.
But why did Jezebel do these things? Why do we do these things? Why do we feel so wronged even when there is no desire for a wrong against us?
Nahab did no wrong to King Ahab-he simply said no, I am keeping my inheritance.
King Ahab felt wronged, like his position was disrespected. King Ahab felt his feelings by isolating himself and not eating.
Jezebel felt wronged, not by something done to her, but buy something done to her husband. Her ego was struck, and she felt ashamed of her husband. Instead of letting him fight his own battles, she picked up the sword, told him to get out of the way, looked down on him with shame and disgust, and fought the battle.
OK, wow, wife and mother, I’ve done both of these things. Am I not letting my kids fight their own battles? Yep. Talking to the teacher instead of coaching my kids to advocate for themselves? Yep. Talking over my husband when disciplining the kids because “he was not doing it right”? Yep. I have been there.
And that is not all—feeling wronged, passed over, feeling like a victim. Yes, yes, yes.
These feelings take place when our ego is not in check. Ego, the one who tells us we are better, more powerful than others. The ego victimizes us and looks at everything as a personal attack.
Oh, that is hard to hear and even more difficult to write. I am the ego driven Jezebel. I am her, and she is me. So how do I realize this, recognize it, and release it?
Father God,
This week was a stern look at myself and my behavior. Lord help me stop and recognize these behaviors. Give me the strength to overcome my ego-driven desires. Lord, You are my savior, the one who sees me, my heart, and my soul. Yet, You love me anyway. I praise You, Lord, for saving me from myself.
Amen.
Homework:
Look for times when you feel wronged. Journal about it feel those feelings, the scorn of the betrayal, the sadness to anger. Look inward and ask five “how does that make you feel.”
The issue I am dealing with
How does that make you feel?
Answer
How does that make you feel?
Answer
How does that make you feel?
Answer
How does that make you feel?
Answer
How does that make you feel?
This exercise will likely get to the root cause
