Week 26: Paranoid
Weekly Chapters:
Pslams 76-111
Passage of the Week:
Psalms 83
Adjective:
1. Baseless or excessive suspicion of the motives of others
Thesaurus:
Delusional
Mania
Self-centered fear
Neurosis
Troubled Mind
Father God,
Paranoia is a feeling that can haunt. It can cause me pain and distress. It can bring fear to the point of debilitation. Father, give me the strength to look at my feelings of paranoia and examine how they affect my life.
Amen
Authentic vulnerability:
Have you ever read an email or text inserted yourself in it? Or translated the tone of an email or text into something that may or may not have been there? Shown a friend asking what do you think he or she means by this?
Yes
Yes
And….Yes
It is easy to do, think that we are being targeted, suspecting that intentions may differ from what they are.
I know I have been there, and it seems to align with how I feel about myself. I’d be a fool not to admit that my hormone cycles play a big part in my paranoid feelings. I usually wind myself up completely up before coming off a hormone high. After rereading the text or email, I am hugely embarrassed.
Sometimes I enlist others to join in my realm of paranoia distress. Sometimes a coworker, sometimes my husband, sometimes a girlfriend. I will feed off of others, generating more paranoia. A good friend will be honest and say that I am reading things into the message.
Overall, my paranoia ends up plaguing my success at work and my relationships. I let paranoia take over and get all in my head. I end up self-sabotaging, and then I end up self-loathing.
What is your Authentic Truth?
Study:
The Israelites often did not live in faith while being led by their kings. We often saw the struggle of the
Kings of Judah going both to and away from God’s teaching and desires. And that constant push and pull of their loyalties to God, we see their paranoia in their songs.
In Psalms Chapter 83, we see that the Psalmist (not David in this case) feels abandoned by God (Verse 1). He thinks that an enemy is closing in on the people. The enemy is crafty, and they’re scheming and conspiring (verse 3). The Psalmist further says that the enemy wants to “destroy the very memory of its existence” (Verse 4). Additionally, stating that the enemies conspired and signed a treaty to do the same (Verse 5).
What is paranoia? In today’s world, the Mayo Clinic says paranoia is an unrealistic distrust of others or feeling of being persecuted.
In reading the text, it is apparent that the Psalmist feels that they are being persecuted. There is likely a genuine threat from their enemies. However, was it self-inflicted? The Israelites turned away from God; they removed their trust in God and placed that trust elsewhere in idols, gossip, hero-worship, and others.
When I feel paranoia, I am doing the same:
· I am not trusting in God and God‘s plan for my life
· I am putting trust in idolatry: social media, trusting others, TV, etc.
· I am listening to and continuing to gossip
· I am putting my faith in people
All of what I am doing is what the Psalmist and his community were doing. They were living in fear and not in faith. God was not being put first in their lives, and they were not trusting in God. They were listening to the voice of humans rather than the voice of God.
In Proverbs 3:5-6, Solomon says to trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your understanding of the world. By acknowledging God‘s plan, he will guide you (paraphrased a lot).
Trust and faith bring us out of paranoia. It is knowing that God has a plan that gives us strength. It is fear that allows us to read something into a message that is not really there. By trusting in God and His power, our thoughts of paranoia can be calmed because God has our back.
Father God,
Thank You for Your message, for giving us the wisdom to see who we are in Your eyes and how Your opinion of us is all that matters. Your love and acceptance of us is what is truly important, not the views of others and not the perceived views of others. From this day forward, I will put my trust in You and not in others.
Amen.
Homework:
· Think of a message that put you in a paranoid state: an email, a text, what someone said.
· Breathe through that moment and pray to God the Father to allow you to see the message just as it was: no added words, no added feelings. When this happens in the future, and you feel wronged by words: breathe, pray, trust in God and know that they are just words.
· If you feel persecuted or wronged and cannot release the feelings, seek the help of a professional who can help you further.
